Announcements of all sorts...

I don't even really know where to begin this post. It's been a long time since I've updated this blog. In one way, I miss it. But I also don't. I don't have much time now for blogging, and I think I'm going to simply stop posting here.

I cannot believe I just wrote that last sentence, but I did. I have thought about just deleting this blog altogether, but I cannot bring myself to do that, not yet. I am the girl that hangs on to snapshots from the past, and this blog is just that in a digital form. So I'll keep this blog up for a while longer, but it's pretty much finito.

You see, I am a mother now. And while I initially thought that I would be okay sharing my child's story with the world (and what a story it has been so far!), I realize I am not. In this blog, I have never lied about who I am, but there are certainly many omissions with respect to things that I have found too personal to share on the big bad internet.

And I feel that my daughter is one of them. So I have decided not to continue on with this blog. Because, really, if I'm being honest she is my everything right now. Between my little family of 5 (yes, the dogs count!) and my mundane household life, I really don't have much else to blog about.

And because what we're going through with her is so huge, so all consuming, I have even deleted things like my Facebook account... because comparing myself to those who don't seem to have a weighty care or worry in the world was just turning me into a bitter old woman. Someone that I do not want to be.

So, here's the last little piece of me that I will share with the world:

She is perfect and beautiful. She is everything to us. She is fighting for her little life. Wish us luck, we will need it.

When I get the time, which may not be for a while, I will still visit your blogs and comment. And if you want to obtain access to the private blog where I am writing about my daughter's journey for family and friends, email me. Depending on who you are, I may grant you access. If I do not give you access, please do not hate me. I only get a certain number of invitees to a private blog, and the vast majority of those are already taken up by family and friends.

Thanks for your readership over the past few years. It's been a laugh.

A guest blog and a rant

I'm over at Less Apathy More Cake today, guest blogging. Check out my guest blog by clicking HERE! Mel and I are fast internet friends because we both love the very same breed of dog, the Boston Terrier of course!

Also, can you explain this one to me:



This is my mailbox this morning. I'm confused... And a little annoyed.

All of a sudden, after years of not getting flyers, we're getting them again. Obviously, it's a new flyer deliverer. But seriously, do I need to receive this many flyers twice a week (sometimes more?)? What a waste of trees.

My pregnancy story, so far...

So, I apologize. It's clear to me that this blog is undergoing a transformation. I'm scared to lose some loyal readers, it's bound to happen because not everyone wants to read about BABY BABY BABY, but I'm sure I'll pick up some new ones as I go along...

I suppose my blog has transformed in many ways since it started out. It was first a dog blog, specifically about Boston Terriers. It was called Santino the Fur-Baby.

Then we got a second dog, Kingsley. And this little blog became a blog about two dogs. It was called My Furbabies.

Then I started getting into photography. And so it became an outlet for me to share my photography with you, dear readers, and to learn and grow. This is when the blog name Sohobutterfly first made its appearance on this blog.

Slowly but surely, more of "me" started creeping into the blog. And while this blog is still about dogs and photography, it's also very much about me.

And me? Well, I'm going through some life-changing shizzle right now. So it's only natural that my blog will shift focus to the biggest of all endeavours that me and my uterus has ever undertaken... growing our baby.

So, I apologize for the out-pouring of BABY BABY BABY and I hope that soon I will bring back some more of my regularly scheduled blogging, in addition to BABY BABY BABY, of course.

So, speaking of the baby, I'm in my 19th week. That means that I'm pretty much halfway done this pregnancy! (20 weeks is -- technically speaking -- halfway there, but HEY what if the kid is born a little early!?)

Picture from my "big" ultrasound that I had this past Friday.
We want the gender of this baby to be a surprise, so we don't
know if it's a boy or a girl. But baby looked healthy according
to the sonographer, which is a huge relief. Baby measures 14cm
from head to bum, weighs 10 oz., and had a heartbeat of 158 bpm.

In my past two posts, I've alluded to some difficulties I've been having in this pregnancy. I'm not going to get into the nitty gritty here of what actually happened (yes, there is such a thing as TMI, even in the blogosphere!). But I will give you a jist of what's going on.

Pretty much throughout the whole of this pregnancy, I've had either spotting or bleeding. It was most unnerving in the first trimester, as most doctors would just throw around the word "miscarriage" like Mardi Gras beads in New Orleans. I was given no answers, and I was not really given much hope. It's like they prepare you for the worst (managing expectations, I suppose), just so that if you do make it through you're happy and feel like a success.

The bleeding that I've had has landed me in the ER twice this pregnancy. Once -- in the first trimester -- I probably didn't have to go, but I wanted an ultrasound to make sure everything was okay. And the other time -- early in my second trimester -- I had a major hemorrhage that ended up with 9-1-1 being called, my almost passing out, and so much blood being lost in a 5 minute span that I was convinced not only was our baby going to die, but I was going to die too. My poor, poor Hubby... he has had to be so strong for his family, but not a single time has he complained or let me down.

I was put on temporary bouts of bed rest throughout this pregnancy, just until the bleeding stopped. I'd resume my regular activities (never heavy lifting or pushing myself too hard) only to start bleeding again. After my major hemorrhage, I was put on strict bed rest. And here I remain, a month and a half later.

Every time I would have a bleeding episode, panic would rise in my throat and I would be sure that our baby had died and my body had failed him or her. I would start to cry and grieve and apologize for my failure, and Hubby would have to tell me to be strong and stay positive. And still, every time, even after my major hemorrhage, we would get confirmation that our baby is still alive.

But we never get answers. I know I have sub-chorionic hemorrhaging in my placenta and have since 6 weeks gestation. But why? They cannot tell us why. And there is no "fix" for this issue. It is touch-and-go.

This child is a fighter. This child is a miracle. Against all odds, and even after the word "miscarriage" was used so carelessly in front of me so many times, we have made it this far.

And now, reaching this stage of my pregnancy, FINALLY I feel that the specialists and doctors are willing to invest in me and our baby. Finally, I feel like the miscarriage is being referred to less and less. Instead plans are being made to monitor growth of this baby, to make sure we give out little fighter baby a chance to live and thrive. To smile and giggle. To be the child that we get to hold in our arms, kiss, nurse and diaper.

And that is my story so far. It has not been easy. There have been times I have lost faith, and I feel ashamed that I have done so. But I have never stopped loving this baby with all my heart and soul. I will do everything in my power to bring this little life into the world, even if it means I'm on bed rest for the next 4 months.

If you want to pray -- if that is what you do -- or just send good thoughts our way, I am most appreciative of your doing so. I would be humbled, in fact, to know that you took time out of your day to think of me and this little bean. I believe that every little scrap of positive thought accumulates into something much bigger, and can only help.

Each day this baby and I hang on, it makes me feel like we're a step closer to viability. This is the ultimate goal. To have a healthy baby as close to full term as possible. That is my wish, and all I want for this Christmas and every Christmas thereafter.

Bumpity bump!

Thank you, dear blog readers, for the excited-ness, shocked-ness and loved-ness that you threw my way in my last post. Your responses, they overwhelm me.

I have said it before, but I'll say it again: the love on the internet can be awesome. You are awesome.

To be honest, I'm not sure how I kept our pregnancy a secret for so long... Every time I wanted to post our news here, I'd get cold feet. I'm a bit of a superstitious person, and I guess I just thought that if I posted... well, then, I was tempting fate to strike me down or something. Completely irrational, I know, and I don't even think it would be fair to blame it on the hormones. Part of it has to do with the complicated-ness of this pregnancy, surely, but that is still another post for another day.

Some of you were asking for bump pics, and I took my first official bump pic today because of it. Ask and ye shall receive...

And there it is, in all it's bumpity glory.

It's not terribly huge at the moment, but my bump gives me a thrill nonetheless. I love to lie down and night and put my hands on my belly, feeling the hard bump that doesn't disappear anymore. This is what I've been waiting for. I'm not going to lie that I cannot wait to be hugely lumpy. I'm still waiting quietly and patiently to feel movement.

Oh, and he'll probably kill me for writing this, but when Hubby kisses my bump goodnight or just cos, I utterly and completely melt into a huge pile of goo. One of the most exciting things for me in this journey is to see him grow as a person, to change from "just Hubby" into a father. Our child's father. I cannot wait to see him cradle our son or daughter in his arms.

Enough of the warm fuzzies and barf-tastic ramblings, or I'm going to start crying and I probably won't be able to stop for an hour or two. Instead I'll get back to reading Breaking Dawn, because I'm pretending to still be a teenager. At least for a little while longer.

It's about time I made this announcement...

So, there's been a reason that my blogging has really dropped off in the past few months. And it's gotten less personal, and more about... toilet paper. Seriously, toilet paper!? Yes. Toilet paper.

The reason? It's because I'm bad at lying.

Confused yet?

Well, don't be. The following picture will make it all clear:

Yup, that's our baby at 13 weeks. Taken about a month ago. We're now 17 weeks, and I finally feel ready to tell the world. (Due on February 13th, in case you're wondering.)

It has not been the easiest pregnancy, but that's a story for another day. Today (and every day!) is a celebration of a new chapter in our lives. A new life that we will be bringing into the world. And we couldn't be happier.

I'll let you know how Tino and Kingsley react to the news. *lol*

The importance of good toilet paper

Generally speaking, I've always been a pretty low maintenance girl. I'm willing to buy generic or the cheapest priced item. Sure, I will pay a little more for quality, but there has always been a line as to just how much more I will pay before I say "Forget it, give me the cheap crap!".

Over the years, I've developed a little habit. An expensive little habit. It has to do with toilet paper.

It all happened when my heiny discovered a little something called Charmin Ultra Soft. Hellllllloooooooooo lover:

{Image credits, because stealing is BAD.}

And, all of a sudden, just like that, I don't care how much I pay for toilet paper anymore. GIVE ME THE CHARMIN OR GIVE ME DEATH. Yes, it's expensive crap for the crapper, but it makes all the difference to me. And my heiny.

So, imagine my disgust and horror when my workplace decided to cut any and all unnecessary expenditures in face of a horrible economy. Well, surely, that doesn't apply to toilet paper.... Wasted stationary, okay. Unapproved overtime, okay. No more expensed donuts for meetings, okay. But surely not the toilet paper!

How wrong was I? So wrong that I am contemplating bringing a roll of Charmin to work with me, just for my very own little heiny. Because THIS is what they replaced the sorta-okay-but-so-not-what-I-would-buy toilet paper with:

{Image credits, because stealing is BAD.}

Now, just imagine that. You would bring your own toilet paper to work too, wouldn't you?

My new best friend

I am absolutely in love with these popsicles:

{Image credits, because stealing is BAD.}

However, I'm not going to lie, when you google "Delmonte Real Fruit Popsicle", some very strange images come up:

{Image credits, because stealing is BAD.}

Okeeeeeeeeeeee then. I'm not sure why someone would think it's appropriate to create a Daniel-Craig-sicle, but apparently it's... NORMAL! *lol*